We’re Not Allowed To Enjoy Life, So Neither Can You

Good lord I am so glad I am Catholic:

When Christians in Ozark work together to protect families, things happen.

Recently a group of Ozark citizens persuaded the City Council to reconsider its decision to allow alcohol to be sold at the Lower Alabama Crawdad Festival, held March 24. . . .

Jim Hill, pastor of Ridgecrest Baptist Church, Ozark, and Bill Hart attended the March 6 City Council meeting to speak out against granting a liquor license to an establishment across from a Methodist church in Ozark and ask the council to rescind its decision to sell beer at the crawdad festival.

“Some people wanted to allow alcohol at the festival because they said beer and crawdads go together,” Hill said. “But family and beer don’t go together any more than beer and crawdads do.”

As a result of their efforts, the Ozark City Council agreed to ban beer from the crawdad festival. Local pastors then encouraged their church members to offer their full support and attend the festival.

I don’t which is dumber: The idea that beer is inherently anti-family; the ridiculous non sequitur that just the sight of someone like me have a beer with my crawfish is somehow going to harm someone else’s family; or saying crawfish and beer do not go together.

No, I do know, it’s the separation of beer and crawfish. Crawfish without beer would be like cereal without milk, or cobbler without ice cream, or pancakes absent syrup, or – dare I say it? – the wafer without the wine. I suppose you could have one without the other, but you certainly would miss out on the full experience.

Look, if you’d rather have plain cobler, communion in one kind, or dry pancakes, that’s your choice. And it’s fine by me if you prefer coke to beer with your crawfish, though I disagree with your opinion: Beer tastes better and, contra coke, is good for you. But to say beer does not go with crawfish at all? That’s anti-reality.     

Explore posts in the same categories: Goobers

9 Comments on “We’re Not Allowed To Enjoy Life, So Neither Can You”

  1. Demopolite Says:

    Remember Wheeler…they are also the ones who drink the grape juice.

    You thank God your Catholic…I thank God I’m Episcopalian! (All the God…half the guilt).

  2. Dan Says:

    I thank God I don’t believe in fairytales… I guess I don’t thank then… man, this non-theist stuff sucks sometimes… who am I supposed to thank? Science? That’s just dumb. Oh I got it.

    I thank goodness I don’t believe in fairytales.

  3. Dystopos Says:

    A Flemish beer appreciation society successfully lobbied the government of that region to provide low-alcohol beer in school lunchrooms on the basis that it was healthier than the soft drinks already sold.

    “Table beer”, with around 2 – 3% ABV is routinely served at family dinners in northern Europe, and probably helps to prevent the idea that beer is some sort of rite of passage for teenagers and makes binge-drinking less of a staple of the post high-school years.

  4. Willie Says:

    Last June I went to an end of school festival at a elementary school in France, and on the school grounds. Besides all the great food the parents brought and made, was a busy stand selling cold beer and wine. I think the word I am looking for is “civilized”

  5. Publius Says:

    beer and crawfish are like the old and new testament. one can enjoy one while ignoring the other but will come away angry and confused. I hate it when the ‘christians’ pick and choose between beer and crawfish. But, that is consistent with how they love money and hate gambling. I suspect there must be millions of gambling dollars in the washing machine of pac to pac transfers to halt the introduction of beer into the communion of crawdads. Wait? fundamentalists dont do communion, do they? Well, if the price is right, fundamentalists will do anything.

  6. Old Prosecutor Says:

    Yu know those opposed to beer could simply not buy it. I have never understood the fundamentalist Christian concept of “if I can not enjoy it, neither will you”

  7. ALmod Says:

    Personally, I don’t care for beer or crawfish. I’d much prefer a shrimp scampi with farfalli and an an Italian red… but that’s just me.

    I love how the BAPTIST ministers decided that they knew what was appropriate to hold accross from a METHODIST church. Methodists will actually speak to each other in the liquor store. Mater of fact, I know a few Methodist pastors (and bishops) who could drink a sailor under the table. That is not to say that Baptists don’t drink. They do. They just won’t admit to it.

  8. […] And Booze Here’s my earlier post about Baptists, beer and crawfish. Now some related jokes I have recently […]

  9. Citizen D Says:

    I happened across your post while surfing the religion tag on wordpress. I’ve gotta say that I laughed out loud, especially at your description of saying that beer and crawfish don’t go together is anti-reality.

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