Why Alabama Needs I & R

Funny:

An initiative filed by proponents of same-sex marriage would require heterosexual couples to have kids within three years or else have their marriage annulled.

Initiative 957 was filed by the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance. That group was formed last summer after the state Supreme Court upheld Washington’s ban on same-sex marriage.

Under the initiative, marriage would be limited to men and women who are able to have children. Couples would be required to prove they can have children in order to get a marriage license, and if they did not have children within three years, their marriage would be subject to annulment.

All other marriages would be defined as “unrecognized” and people in those marriages would be ineligible to receive any marriage benefits.

Hat tip to Alabama Ass Whuppin for that one. 

While on the subject of spankings, Jesus’ General thinks Ted Haggard is “totally heterosexual” not because of therapy, but because he had an exorcism, and the General wants to know why the truth is being suppressed:

So why didn’t you just tell the media the truth? Were you afraid of being mocked by those who might not understand the exorcism process? It’s bound to happen. After all, the “Anointing of the Wesson Oil,” the “Donning of the Bottomless Chaps,” the “Squealing, Even As A Pig Squealeth,” and “The Application of The Spatula of the Terrible Rebuking,” probably seem very strange to someone who hasn’t hear the Word. But that’s no excuse for hiding the truth away like it’s something of which you are ashamed. Such fears shouldn’t prevent us from sharing the gospel.

Finally, speaking of standing up for what you believe:

Valentine’s Day — gay men and lesbians throughout the United States hold Freedom to Marry demonstrations, in which they apply to their local authorities for marriage licenses that are duly denied.

In Yolo County, Calif., just west of Sacramento, Clerk-Recorder Freddie Oakley has been for four years the one denying those licenses, much against her own belief in marriage equality.

This year, to protest her state’s marriage ban, Oakley will issue same-sex applicants to her Woodland office a Certificate of Inequality, proclaiming that “your choice of marriage partner displeases some people whose displeasure is, apparently, more important than principles of equality.”

“I’m the one who stands behind the desk and does it — who says ‘no,’ ” Oakley said Friday. “Because it’s so odious, I can’t ask anyone on my staff to do it. And every year it gets harder.

“This year, I thought, ‘What can I do to make it less odious?’ And I thought, ‘I’ll give everyone a takeaway.’ ” . . .

A former lobbyist and appointed member of the Yolo County Board of Supervisors, Oakley was first elected to her nonpartisan post in 2002. She says she’s been married to the same man for 37 years “and I’m an evangelical Christian.

“When I face Jesus and have to account for my errors, I want to tell him that I erred on the side of love.”

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5 Comments on “Why Alabama Needs I & R”

  1. JPW Says:

    Thanks for the ht, Wheeler. The blurb from Jesus’ General is hysterical.

    “The Application of The Spatula of the Terrible Rebuking”

    That is pure-d gold right there.

  2. publish Says:

    the hottest corner of hell is reserved for the relativists. I only wish satan’s dominion was reserved for political criminals also, forgiveness notwithstanding.

  3. Don Says:

    I hope that everyone reading this will note that wheeler said that it’s funny, and not think that this is really why Alabama needs I&R. We need it to initiate real and reform legislation that the legislature has repeatedly failed to pass. I also hope they realize that the I&R legislation (HB325) that was introduced last year and will be again this year contains provisions quite different from those in Washington which would preclude the likelihood of legislation being initiated here such as is being done in Washington. The requirements in HB325 are much more rigorous and the process to initiate legislation would be much more difficult here. The text of HB325 is available online @ http://www.doctoriq.com/bama's%20I&R%20bill.htm and I would urge Alabamians to study it and then contact their legislators and tell them to pass the bill this year.

  4. Mark Says:

    I saw a reference to this on another blog, which said it is apparently intended ironically.

  5. Beaudrillard Says:

    Publish,

    Save me a seat by the fireplace. Seeing as how you already have Hell mapped out, maybe you can reserve us a nice secluded spot under a burning bush, next to the lake of fire. We could watch the demons and minions play field hockey with their pitchforks.


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