Obligatory Nick Saban Post

I’m shocked that he is now the Tide’s head coach. No way he is going to give up on the NFL after only two seasons, I thought when the rumors first started.

I’m also not so sure this is a great hire. I much prefer hiring “up and comers” from second rate schools (e.g. like LSU did with Saban when they hired him from Michigan State, or, as I heard rumored recently, David Cutcliffe from Tennessee) or else from non-football conferences (e.g. someone like Wake Forest Coach Jim Grobe, or Cal Coach Jeff Tedford, or Louisville Coach Bobby Petrino). Those folks come cheaper and they have will have the motivation and drive that comes with their first shot at the big time.

But someone who has already won a national title and who is now a failed NFL coach? I don’t know. This sort of feels like the difference between being the guy in high school who goes to the prom with the head cheerleader, and being the guy who hooks up with her after she’s flunked out of college and is waiting tables at O’Charley’s. Same girl, probably still hot, but it’s just not the same thing. 

That leads me to what I’ve really been asking myself over the last day: If Alabama and Nick Saban were a celebrity/fictional/historical couple, who would they be?

My first thoughts were something like Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts. As with that couple, when I heard the reports about Saban and Alabama, I said, “How the he** did that happen?” K-fed Fed-X and Britney would also work here.

But that might be too tough on the Tide, so one of the other guys in my office suggested Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley. Billy Joel: Good guy, solid artist, not bad looking. But should he be married to Christie Brinkley? No freakin’ way.

Still, these analogies make Saban – the guy who until yesterday assured his now former team and everyone else that he had no interest in the Alabama job – look too good. Hence, I suggest Amy Grant and Vince Gill. Grant, of course, while married to Gary Chapman repeatedly denied that she and Gill were anything but “friends.” Uh-huh. Hopefully Saban and Alabama’s “friendship” will work just as well.

Finally, Saban probably won’t like this suggestion, but how about Henry the VIII for Alabama? Sure Henry was looking for a son, and the Tide for the Bear’s replacement, but they’ve each been about equally (1) patient with the candidates, and (2) willing to blame themselves for failures. Both also had one blip of success: Edward for Henry and 1992 for Alabama. Granted, Alabama has not (yet) beheaded anyone, but there were death threats. And even an annulment. Now I don’t know which of Henry’s wives would be Saban, but I think Henry is spot on for the Tide.

Any other suggestions?

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One Comment on “Obligatory Nick Saban Post”

  1. Edward Still Says:

    I hope you bring the same flair to your briefs that you show in this paragraph:

    “This sort of feels like the difference between being the guy in high school who goes to the prom with the head cheerleader, and being the guy who hooks up with her after she’s flunked out of college and is waiting tables at O’Charley’s. Same girl, probably still hot, but it’s just not the same thing.”

    Great stuff.


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