The Best Thing About The MLB Playoffs

I know we are in the south, so no-one cares about baseball.  And those who do care still might not want to watch the playoffs because it looks very much like Satan the Yankees will be re-claiming their throne this year. Perhaps, even worse, in the same way they last ascended to it: Beating the Mets in a subway series.

Nevertheless, the games are really worth watching so that you can laugh even more heartily at the Sports Guy’s diarythe next day. Here’s some excerpts from the diary of last nights Yankees-Tigers game:

6:59 —All right, I’ll ask: Is there a reason why the Giambino [Yankee’s DH Jason Giambi] always looks like he just finished having raucous sex with a stripper in a 110-degree room at the Motel 6 in Vegas at 4:30 in the morning? I mean, he is COVERED in sweat. It’s unbelievable. He looks like Ray Liotta in the last 30 minutes of “Goodfellas.” He just got hit by another pitch.

7:33 —Strange move: Torre decides to yank [starting pitcher Chien-Ming] Wang in the seventh with two outs and nobody on. I’m not sure why Torre would yank Wang there when he was cruising at 93 pitches. Weird time to yank Wang.

7:37 —Curtis Granderson homers off Mike Myers, the 48th ex-Red Sox player we’ve seen today. 7-4, Yankees. See, I told you Torre shouldn’t have yanked Wang.

(Note: I’m not quitting until you give me one Beavis laugh. Come on, humor me.)

7:47 —Toronto reader E.H. Zwick chimes in: “[Fox announcer Tim] McCarver should be congratulated for raising our cultural awareness for noting in amazement that Wang and Kuo come from the same ‘village’ known as Tainan City in Taiwan. This ‘village’ has a population of about 800,000, larger than San Francisco. It really is amazing that two people from a country that loves baseball has a city that produces two big league players. Thanks, Tim.” Well-done, E.H. And you didn’t even make a “made in Taiwan” joke.

8:29 — Enter the Sandman.

8:31 —They just showed that “lowest career post-season ERA” stat — [Yankees closer Mariano] Rivera is first at 0.81, followed by Koufax, Mathewson, Plank and Lolich. So if you’re scoring at home, the 2004 Red Sox didn’t just come back in Game 4 of the ALCS to launch the greatest comeback in sports history, they came back against the guy with the greatest postseason ERA ever. There you go.

On that last point, it really does not matter if the Red Sox ever again win the World Series, or if the Yankees win them all from here to eternity. Nothing can ever surpass 2004.

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One Comment on “The Best Thing About The MLB Playoffs”

  1. JCH Says:

    I don’t even know which teams are in the playoffs. I know the Braves aren’t in. I’m such a fair weather baseball fan.


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