Do You Think Shaq Called Kobe Last Night?

When the NBA finals started, I really did not care who won. Both teams are cool, and I am apathetic about the NBA in general, normally watching it only between the Super Bowl and Opening Day of Major League Baseball.

Now that it is over, though, I am happy the Heat are the champs.

First and foremost because this had to drive Kobe Bryant nuts. Kobe, as you know, is the ball hogging brat who blew up the Lakers' most recent dynasty, causing the team to trade Shaq to the Heat. The Lakers have stunk it up since then, while Shaq is now wearing his fourth championship ring.

Second, because you gotta love Shaq. I will never forget watching him and LSU play Arizona way back when. He grabbed a rebound at one point, then went coast to coast with a dunk at the other end. I thought Dick Vitale was going to have a heart attack. I hated it when Shaq was a Laker. It was like if Chewbacca went to work for Palpatine or something. Just wrong. So this is the first time in a while I've been able to really cheer for him as a pro.

Third, Alonzo Mourning. When he was a monster, the Heat would choke in the playoffs every year. Now he has come back from two retirements and a serious kidney problem to finally win it all. He isn't the player he used to be, but he didn't simply ride the pine to this title either. He had five blocked shots last night. He deserved this title.

Fourth, Mark Cuban is a loser. He was really getting on my nerves by the end of the series.

The only drawback to the Heat is Dwayne Wade's tights. I take uniform infractions very seriously. Normally, wearing full length leggings under your shorts would cause me to root against you. But that was balanced out, somewhat, by Jason Terry's socks, which came within half an inch of the bottom of his shorts.

So all in all a good result.

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