In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti

So those crazy Presbyterians, meeting here in B'ham, have decided on some new names for the Trinity. "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" remains the official name, but here are some authorized new variations:

"Compassionate mother, beloved child and lifegiving womb."

"Rainbow of Promise, Ark of Salvation and Dove of Peace"

"Speaker, Word and Breath"

"Giver, Gift, and Giving"

"Lover, Beloved and Love that binds together Lover and Beloved"

"Rock, Cornerstone, and Temple"

The Southern Baptist Convention just finished their meeting, and this got me to wondering what new names they would suggest for the Trinity. My initial thoughts:

Bush, Scalia, and DeLay

Belt Wielding Father, Obedient Child, and Silent-Unless-Spoken-to Womb Possessor (not owner)

Gun, Bullet, and Powder 

Tsunami of Judgment, Hurricane of Righteousness, and FEMA of Hope

Warden, Guard, and Potassium Chloride 

Cross Burner, Wall Builder, and Hatred of Immigrants that binds them together

Intelligent Designer, Homo Despiser, and Flag Idolizer

Domestic Spyer, Congressional Complier, and Fear Monger who makes it all possible

Monument, Courthouse, and Roy Moore

Any other suggestions? Or should we stick with the original?

Explore posts in the same categories: Goobers, Religion, Uncategorized

4 Comments on “In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti”

  1. Jen Says:

    My personal favorite – “Tsunami of Judgment, Hurricane of Righteousness, and FEMA of Hope.” Did you come up with these on your own? They’re hilarious, but maybe, just maybe – the original will do for now.

  2. Kathy Says:

    If the choice is the original or one of the SBC’s, I’ll stick with the original. Excellent job!

  3. Susan Says:

    “Warden, Guard, and Potassium Chloride”

    teehee…except it’s more sad than funny.

  4. HP Says:

    Oh my…I’m concerned my rights have been violated.

    I’m Presbyterian, and I didn’t get to vote.

    Perhaps I should have attended the big meeting.

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